I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I think I sprained my soul last night
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
