I'm jealous of your bromance
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
