sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
