I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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