he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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