Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
