we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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