I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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