you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
