I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
