it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
