I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
