and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Randomize
