Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
