she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize