it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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