Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize