How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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