I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
We need to rekindle our bromance
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
