she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
