Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
