Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
