How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
