I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
