You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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