my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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