If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
They took my balls.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize