maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize