I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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