oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
whose parrot is this?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
