pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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