Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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