I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
