Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
