the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
