I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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