Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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