I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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