just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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