I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
