I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My vagina is officially offended.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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