better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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