Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
