yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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