just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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