there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Randomize
