I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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