wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
