Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I currently don't understand fingers.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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