Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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