I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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