so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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