I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
