M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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