we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
