jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
