I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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