Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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