New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Randomize
