So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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