And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize