So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
