i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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